Break-Ups Part 2..

Well... Andrew's birthday was last Thursday (the 12th). I got him a Yankee's Hat (Yes, I know, I have commited a sin...) that was white and the NY sign was in army print to match the inside of his jacket. It cost me the rest of my Christmas money, but Andrew loved it and thats all that mattered.

Saturday (the 14th) was our 2 month anniversary. I didn't get to see him because I was still grounded. But watever. On Wednesday (the 18th) Andrew and I had a HUGE fight. But we both talked it out and decided that our feeling for eachother weren't the same as they were when we first started goin out. So, it was a mutual agreement...we decided to break up. But we both made a promise to eachother that we would remain friends after this. Andrew and I were really close friends before we started goin out, so I'm just hopein that we can go back to that, which we pretty much already have.

The day after the break up was a pretty good day. People found out about it and alot of them came up tellin me they were sorry about it. But the thing was, was that I wasn't even that upset about the whole ordeal. I hadn't even cried at all, yet! So, I thought I was doin pretty good. Then I came home and I was talkin to Andrew's best friend and he told me that Andrew had said that he missed me. Later that night, I was talkin to Andrew online, and he had told me also that he missed me. Right at that moment I was listening to my iPod and the song Only One by Yellowcard came on (look up the lyrics..you'll understand better..) and....I started crying! I thought I had taken the break up really well..turn's out, the reality of it just hadn't set in yet.

Today in school was weird. Andrew and I talked alot and he flirted with me a bit. And we REALLY did go back the way we were before we went out. That made me happy...it also made me really, really, really, sad. Knowing that Andrew wasn't "mine" and I couldn't get mad at him for flirting with other girl's (which he barely did.. cuz he knows it would hurt me)..it just tore me up inside. I was writing the lyrics to Only One on my desk in English class (Oh, what a vandal I am!! Don't worry guys, it was in pencil.), when I started crying again. I tried to hide it, but my best friend Kayla noticed it. Thank God, we had a substitute in the next class, because I spent half the time in the bathroom.

When I got home I talked to Andrew online. What I wanted has happened. We're friends. Nothing more, nothing less. I miss him so much. I used to talk on the phone with him all the time..and now, I haven't talked to him for longer than 5 minutes since before the break up. I miss him. Andrew was that ONE thing that I could count on at the end of that day that I could love and that would love me back.

Grr.... I hate this. It's not fun. But I do have good news...as soon as I told Justin (my best friend from karate) about what happened, he invited me to go to the movies on Saturday with him and Priscilla (another one of my friends from karate). At least I'll have sunthin to do so I can take my mind of "My Andrew Hunni Cakes". LOL!

-Steph