??So What If Everyone Was Right??

[Ok, my posts seem to be getting longer and longer by the minute. I have too much to say. Oh well.. feel free to read it... or don't. Lol! Either way I'm chill.]


I've realized something that I think I've always known, just never really wanted to believe.

Andrew's a jerk.

I don't know why it took me so long to realize this, but it dawned on me the other night when I was thinking about stuff and the current situation. He really is a worthless peice of crap. He really is! And I mean, SOO many people have told me that SOO many times. Even when we were still together. [Mom, Dad, Kayla, Virgilia, Nicole, Marci, The Mexican.. just to name a few.] And I just can not understand why it took so long for me to see through him! I just wish that everyone at my school could see what I see. They ALL bow down to him like he's some kind of God. Yeah, it's pretty much completely pathetic to think that I was once one of them. [Nevermind his GIRLFRIEND!!!] Seriously, I thought I was a smart kid. It just goes to show what "love" does to ya. Mixes you up and throws you around, so that your completely confused, but you don't even care cuz your just so happy, so you keep skipping along "La la la la la". Yeah, I can only IMAGINE what I must of looked like to all of my friends. It's totally insane and embaressing to think about... so I don't even want to imagine myself!

Andrew did some things that I would NEVER imagine every doing to him. [coughcheatingonmecough].(I found out from his friend about it..) I think it's wrong that he would do that.. when all I did was love him and treat him with 100 % respect. I mean, I pretty much handed my heart over to him, without thinking twice. But whatever.. thats the punishment I get for being so stupid and falling for all of his tricks [that I'm SURE he's used on a ton of girls..].

Wow. I never noticed how much I write about all the drama in my life. I bet the only [3] people who read this are completely and totally lost by now. Eh, well I'm a confusing and EXTREMELY difficult girl, so that's what you all get! =)

Well, as far as karate goes, I'm still going there every night. I actually got asked out to the movies on Saturday by this one kid. He takes his lil sister to class almost every night [I'm not in her class], but he watches my class which is the Teen Class. I've caught him lookin at me a couple of times, but I mean, I'm in my black and red [or white] uniform, sweating, screaming, yelling out "YES SIR!" and probably don't smell too great. NOT ONCE did it ever cross my mind that he was like.. LOOKING at me. Ya know? So, we've talked a couple times and thats pretty much it. Then on Monday [after I was helping with the little kid's class] he pulled me aside and asked what I was doin on Saturday. And [naturally] I said I don't know. I mean, the truth is that I'm probably doin nothing. But I'm not gonna tell HIM that! DUH! I have to seem like I actually have a life! Hehe. So, then he asked me to go to the movies with him. [Of course] I said Maybe, but I gotta talk to the madre. [Which was completely true.]

One problem.. I forgot that Daddy and Uncle Steve were drivin from Ohio this weekend for Jimmy Baldini's Birthday Party. Yah.. so that's a bit of a set back. Madre said I can go next weekend [as long as other people go too, which is perfectly fine with me.], so it's all good!

AND I still have Gene waiting on me. Poor thing. I have to keep saying no to him when he's asks me to go out with him, cuz madre isn't letting me date anyone. Like.. as a boyfriend. But, I talked to her last night and she said that we could "re-vist the topic" in a couple of weeks. That makes me soooo happy. I really do think that Gene is completely opposite of Andrew [or Tyler] and would be able to treat me right and truely, genuwinely care about me. I mean, [once again] his eyes.. oh my god! I really do think that I have this weird attraction to ANY guy with nice eyes. His eyes are like.. Caribbean water blue. Sorta like mine, but they pop out more cuz his hair is wicked dark. People say that The Eyes Are The Key To The Soul. But if that was true, then I would have seen Andrew's badside right from the beginning. But, now it's differant. When I look at him I DO see a peice of scum. Not this brilliant, amazing person that "I love".
With Gene, I see a quiet, shy person. But is perfectly capable of loving me.

And right now... thats all I really want.
=)